I'm just starting to get used to the idea that people will use me or find me more appealing because of where I work. I've always been very cautious (or embarrassed) of mentioning it, but I'm beginning to know when I can milk it and when it'll invite leeches.
I'm really lucky to be in love, but sometimes, I miss these heartbreaking moments. I guess, in this relationship, I hope that I never feel this type of heartache, but the lyrics still get you. The desperation is gut-wrenching, and Justin Vernon takes it to another level. It's so beautiful and tragic.
Outwardly, I feel that I am a generally happy person. I have a pretty great life, a great job, great friends and family, and a great and beautiful man.. but I still relate to this type of sadness--this type of tragedy. Somehow, somewhere, I feel that I relate to these feelings. It's not to say that I am unhappy, but I think there's a constant loneliness that I'll have forever.
It's not even masochism or a self-loathing kind of feeling. I don't pity myself. I'm thankful for my list of great things, but I still feel lonely. But don't we all?
I don't have links for you today (because I've been so busy this week), but I do have a letter by Abigail Adams for John Adams, written in 1782.
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My Dearest Friend,
...should I draw you the picture of my heart it would be what I hope you would still love though it contained nothing new. The early possession you obtained there, and the absolute power you have obtained over it, leaves not the smallest space unoccupied.
I look back to the early days of our acquaintance and friendship as to the days of love and innocence, and, with an indescribable pleasure, I have seen near a score of years roll over our heads with an affection heightened and improved by time, nor have the dreary years of absence in the smallest degree effaced from my mind the image of the dear untitled man to whom I gave my heart.