Have a great weekend

July 29, 2011

Hot. It was 100˚+. From my bf Beau

Watching: True Romance
Listening to: The Shape of Punk to Come
Reading: East of Eden
Eating: Coffee
Drinking: Green drink
Fucking: No one
Missing: RJ
Feeling: Hopeful

- - -

Dog shot with a crossbow.

Lady Gaga doing that lipstick-outside-the-lip-designated-area thing that I don't like.

Bjork's new video for "Chrystalline" by Michel Gondry.

Eat less meat?

Alexander McQueen left $25 million of his estate to charity.

Rachel being pretty.

Morrissey says Norway massacre is nothing compared to actions of fast food chains.

Dan Santoro Tattoo Age parts 1-3.

- - -



Helmut Newton for Vogue, August 1963

How much longer?

Since high school, I've had to deal with losing friends to girlfriends. It's something that I understand, but it's also something that I'm over. At this point in my/our lives, I think it's clear that my motives are pure. If you take a look at my list of friends that I love, most of them are boys--boys that I've never hooked up with and boys that I've never been romantic with. I think my oldest homies can vouch for how down I am and how I'm like a dude to them. When I meet new boys, I don't even consider them being romances. If I come across flirty or friendly, it's because my nature is flirty (which is a problem) and I'm definitely trying to be friends with you. I'm the friend that loves you unconditionally and you need to see the difference between philia love and eros love. It's my fault when the lines are blurred because I invite you to sleep in my bed, only because I am used to having my friends sleep over or me sleeping over there. If I want to have a romantic relationship with you, you will know, right away. No games. But honestly, I'd rather have you as a friend. Because lovers are expendable, friends are forever. Isn't that adulatory? The notion that I'd rather have you forever than for a moment? Unless you shake me to my core, I don't want that sort of love from you.

In the last 3.5 years, I've lost some of that philial devotion that I'm trying to get back. I know that sometimes the relationship I'm asking for is inappropriate but I think we are an evolved species to where we can act beyond our baser instincts. No competition, no envy, no anything. Just love. If I lose you to that sort of thoughtlessness, I will be crushed. Because it doesn't make sense to me.

It's about family. Agape.

There's more to life than the boy in that mirror

July 28, 2011

Black and cold

So weird. So amazing.

MySpace screenshots

I went through 200 and gave up. Solid though.

The perfect date

July 27, 2011

Beau and I had a beautiful Saturdate. We went to Cafe Mogador on St. Marks and had a yummy Moraccan meal. He had an avocado salad and the falafel platter and I had gazpacho and the mixed platter which included, tabouli, babaganoush, hummus, and a tomato salad. I strolled him through the East Village for some ice cream and later told him that his entire dinner + dessert was vegan, without him even knowing. Gotcha, sucker.

Surfing that concrete wave

Adam Kimmel presents: Claremont HD from adam kimmel on Vimeo.

I've been finding a lot of cool things on my MySpace.

I had a lot of downtime last weekend..

I need to get out of here


July 26, 2011

There are some messed up things happening in this world. Massacre's in Norway by crazy, right-wing, Christian Reformist "Templars" and large conglomerates purposely trying to wipe out an entire species of fish in order to be the only people with said fish to put a heavy price tag on.. etc.

Bluefin Tuna farming is an unmerciful business. It's the best, fattiest, most delicious piece of raw fish you will ever eat. But one day, you won't be able to eat it because they're already almost all gone. I love sashimi. But I can't back commercial farming anymore and the destruction of the ocean. Culturally, eating is huge. For me, it's bigger than what it is to you because I'm Korean and I feel like we eat differently. It's really amazing and wonderful. I mean, in every culture so many beautiful things happen around food. So my issue is that I don't know how to tackle my respect for my culture and my respect for our environment. There's a middle, I know it. I just need to find it.

The emptiness of the ocean is astounding. I think the "statistics" are something like: We've eaten 90% of the fish in the sea. I can go into detail about how this action effects that and causes this to do that.. but it's pretty simple. I've told someone this and they say, "Well, aren't there farms?" Yeah, and this LA Times article discusses the BFT farming, but farming doesn't fix anything, really. It just gives us more tuna to eat. It's almost the exact same thing as cow farms or chicken warehouses. They are overfed for three times the meat.

The article explains how it's a lose-lose situation, and my immediate solution ("solution") would be to keep farming and stop all commercial fishing of BFT. Raise these fish, see to it that they're safe in the wild, and don't fish for them. But that's impossible. I think that you can go to Whole Foods or whatever and by "sustainable" fish, but it's not sustaining anything. It's sustaining the meat available to US, but it isn't really sustaining the ocean, if they're grown only to be consumed. It's like going to a fundraiser to support women who've been raped and going out and raping a girl right after.

Or something.

Things I hardly remember

The sand between my toes.
Sleeping in a tattoo shop 2 nights a week.
Redbull parties.
Space Mountain.
Looking out for dudes doing illegal things.
Riding my bike.
Austin, Texas.
Falling in love.
Waiting to be picked up.
Surfing couches/beds in DC 2 nights a week.
Cooking for 17 dudes.

Who am I?


I wish I was in you.

Someone I met 4 years ago

People don't talk like this anymore.


July 25, 2011

Do you take vitamins? I feel like people think I'm weird when I dump out my vitamins during a meal. I take a multivitamin, minerals, calcium, and vitamin D3. I think I'm going to add spirulina to that mix, too. I have one of those Monday-Sunday pill boxes with the AM/PM. But mine is sick because each day pops out so I just throw one of those suckers into my purse in the morning.

Did you know niacin is like Prozac? but organic.

I don't think anybody cares about this..

Faster than the world

Dudes I don't know, old and new

Have a nice weekend

July 22, 2011

I look really happy

Things from the web:

Anderson being so cute in Cartagena.

Coffee in Los Angeles.

There's a famine in Somalia.

Animal Rights Conference at the L.A. Convention Center this weekend.

New video for Pusha T & Tyler's new jam.

Fake Apple stores popping up in China.

New vegan/rawfoods restaurant in Los Angeles.

Another legend falls.

Today is Rachel's big birthday bash!

- - -

Last week was a really selfish week. I was so caught up in my own bullshit that I forgot about the stuff that actually matters, which doesn't involve me at all. There's been a paradigm shift that has brought me new air to breathe and new eyes to see. My day-to-day is so silly and petty. To them, this is the most important thing in the world. To me, it's trivial. I believe that I could love my "job" but ultimately, it's for something else, not for me. This is a means to an end or more, a means to a bigger goal. It's not to say that I live a false life but my intentions are different than they appear on the surface and I'm okay with that falsity that is displayed. As long as I get there, this will all be worth it.

Ignorance is definitely bliss. Jake used to ask me why I looked so sad all the time. While I'm not actually feeling sadness at that moment, in the back of my mind/heart/soul, there's always something looming. I am by no means all-knowing, but the more I learn about the world the sadder it gets. I want to know as much as I can, no matter what it is. But the thing with trying to learn about new things is that once you open those doors, you realize how much you don't know. So that darkness gets bigger and bigger. And you feel smaller and smaller.

"Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know."
-Ernest Hemingway


We'd look good side by side