I never thought I'd be in love like this

October 26, 2009

I'm a pretty supportive girlfriend. VERY supportive, sometimes to the point of pushing him to do something. Well, it's more of a strong suggestion. The Dude deserves everything coming his way, but it's tough on my part because locally, I get to move around with him.. but when he does the two+ week traveling with people I don't get to be there.

I mean, I enjoy the time apart in the sense that I am extremely productive in my work, but it doesn't mean I don't miss him to death. We spend every day together and it's weird when that's taken away for extended periods of time. And with the recent knowledge of our upcoming schedules, it's a couple weeks apart, a few weeks together, a couple weeks apart, a week together, a month apart.. you know? It's just frustrating. I'm soo stoked for him but I want to experience these things with him. I imagine us traveling together and seeing the world side-by-side, but I honestly don't think it's going to happen because he's going to be doing all of his traveling on his bike, without me. Maybe I have to accept that because that comes with dating someone like him, but it's not the way I want to live. I'm the type of person that wants to experience life with the one I love. I'm not a backseat girlfriend.

And then all of this time apart makes me think about "what could happen". I'm confident in where we are in our relationship, but shit happens and I'm scared to death that something might. And you can imagine that to be whatever you want, but I imagine that one might fall out of love, or that one might not want to be with the other in these times apart. Especially in the last few years, I've realized that no matter how well you know someone or what you might perceive, anything is possible, as it is with life in general.