April 06, 2010

I was talking to The Dude about hypochondriasis yesterday and I couldn't define it, so I wiki-ed it. In reading the definition, I realized that I am a hypochondriac! The Dude says I have just become one in the last four months and it's definitely true.

Yesterday I had a mini-meltdown. I thought my legs looked swollen and after spinning, I stepped on the scale and I gained a ridiculous amount of weight since the last time I was at the gym.. which was Wednesday. To make a long story short, there are a few other things that have been factoring in to me FREAKING OUT about being pregnant or swelling or having a bodily reaction to working out for the first time in 4 months.. or some other crazy shit. Luckily, after reading that I have the qualities of being a hypochondriac, I suddenly felt that none of these things were an issue, and that my body is just changing and adjusting to a lifestyle that has drastically changed in the last 4 months and a lifestyle that I am trying to change back.

Honestly, the reason I wear a holter and have been visiting a cardiologist is because I want to reassure my parents (and my extended family) that I am a healthy girl. All the doctors say so and I think I take care of my body pretty well. I truly know the culprit is STRESS. Stress has been proven to kill people, and I think it's just that. It's probably stress added to the fact that I used to go to the gym to deal with the stress which probably overworked me to the point of passing out on the occasion.

But there I mean, diagnosing myself. "Many individuals with hypochondriasis express doubt and disbelief in the doctors' diagnosis, and report that doctors’ reassurance about an absence of a serious medical condition is unconvincing, or un-lasting."

Haha it's just too funny.