May 12, 2007, 4:00pm

June 09, 2009

Sitting in the park. Smoking a cigarette. I wanted to go to City Cafe.. but don't feel like walking back. I'd walk there.. just not back. I lit my cigarette with matches from Lake Travis. I don't want to smoke anymore. But I'll do it anyway. Right now, I don't care.

I feel so bad for _____ right now. I'm so mad at him.. but I don't want him to have to deal with all of this. All of this could not be happening. But it is.

I blame.. the alcohol.

What if he didn't get drunk? He would've still _____ _____. But he wouldn't have been _____ _____ with _____.

I'm so angry with _____.

Was I just making up this _____? I couldn't have.

So then what the fuck happened. How did things get so fucked up?

I would've forgiven him about the deal with _____. Maybe. I don't know. But the _____ thing is where the problems lie.

The sky is thundering. I hope it rains on me.

When it rains, it pours.

What to think.

I hope it rains.

I make it rain. Ha.