Love notes

August 09, 2009

I was looking through some of my old stuff and found this note in a wallet:

"In all life-endeavors, I've learned this--that for every person, there is another, who makes such a harmonious connection, that life can feel fulfilled simply by crossing his or her path, even if it's only for a moment. That person is like a key, which opens the doors to a hidden cache of glorious emotions and revelations deep within the soul. Your life is forever changed. You find yourself smiling amidst pains that once seemed unbearable. The world seems to slow down; the earth seems lighter. You begin to sense things that you've never before noticed--the joy of a stranger, the carvings on a tree made by some hapless couple, the dancing of moonlight while night swimming. most people search for that someone among potential lovers, reasoning that such an important person must be their future wife or husband. But this is not always the case; that "key" person can be a son or daughter, a teacher or student. Now, I know there's nothing in the Bible that speaks directly to such a phenomenon, but I know it exists, because you do. I will always remember you Tammy Lee. And I will always be yours--my perfect key."

How could such amazing words be forgetten? The note doesn't say who it's from, but I know and I will always know. I used to keep it in my wallet and read it to myself. Just knowing these words were close to me at all times gave me comfort. And then I forgot. I forgot about the book. I forgot about the tacos. I forgot about New York. I forgot about the car. I forgot about the tattoos. I forgot about the beach. I forgot about it all.

Was it love? Was it inappropriate? Not at all. Neither. Never. But such passion was so true. So pure. There will never be another because it's not between two lovers, two family members, two friends.. I think we were something more. Maybe it's because our relationship was rooted in God, but without God actually being in it. I will NEVER have a relationship like that because I don't have God in my life. I'm not upset about that at all, but I'm upset that this love was lost. That note must've been written to me five or so years ago. And in those five years, I have no idea what happened.

I was so young, and you were a lot older than I, full of life experiences and heartache. Full of pain, yet full of happiness. I think you forced your happiness, but for the good of everyone else around you, which I admire. I can relate. But with me, you were happy and there's no doubting that fact. I found the bracelet you gave me today and I put it on my wrist, then took it right off. I want to look in the book, but I'm scared. I can't think about you because I'm ashamed of what I've lost. I wish you could see how beautiful I've become. Just like you knew I would. Just like you knew I was.

Every girl deserves to have such beautiful words written. Every girl needs to have such beautiful words written.