Screen shots

November 29, 2009

Shopping at Neimans

Christmas shoes?

Summer '10 shoes?

And then I accidentally went New Year's dress shopping. It's not fair that gold sequins are automatically in the running.

HAHA this post is so ridiculous. I don't share this part of my life with you people.


This is something only people from my neck of the woods are familiar with. My brother described it best: A yellow brick. He said sometimes he'll wake up on a weekend morning to an empty home but see this yellow brick sitting in the kitchen and will shed a tear of joy. I don't even ask for it, it just magically appears. I swear it's a 3lb brick of yummy goodness. I wouldn't dare purchase this on my own, but if it's here.. why not? :)

Oh by the way, it's a breakfast burrito. The only breakfast burrito.

My sister's giving birth in my head

Marion Cotillard

New Lisbon video

"Free for the weekend! I finally made the full length uncensored version of the Apnea "Heartlands and heartache" video. 6 minutes of Apnea above ground and under water. In and out of clothes. Set to the music of "Among Wolves" and "Urak-Hai"."

Click here

Pushing forty

November 28, 2009

Eva Herzigova, Claudia Schiffer, Helena Christensen

For the COVER?

November 26, 2009

My mom asked me if I saw the cover of W with Demi Moore yet and proceeds to tell me how ridiculous the photoshopping is. And it is pretty outrageous. She looks durn good for 47 but making a mistake like this is more embarrassing for her than the magazine. Her hips do lie. After parousing the internet, rumor has it her whole body belongs to someone else. Drama.

Max Gimblett, meet Elliott Smith

Either/Or, 1983


I wonder if Kierkegaard would approve.

Boys, sometimes a girl just needs one

These are the boys that woke me from my coma last weekend. Arizona ad? My mans looks so yummy.

Photo Chris Marshall, the loudest man I have ever met.

High school reunion

I flew into LAX at 9:00 and left for Heroes at 10:30. It was gross. I haven't been to Heroes since I was 16 and it was packed with people from high school. I just kept my head down while traveling through the thick of horny girls and boys and found a nice place to sit my butt the whole night while people came by to say Hello. I don't think it's a coincidence that Downtown Fullerton happens to be DTF for short. People are DOWN. And you can feel it.. ew.

I was pleasantly surprised to see a few people, but A.O.K with not even giving some other people the time of day. No thank you. I will pass on awkward Hello's as if we're supposed to be friends because we happened to spend 4-6 years at the same school. Said hello's to Piaget Glaspie, the all-star running back who is now opening up a group home somewhere in Modesto. I'm surprised he even remembered lilttle ol' me. Had a really nice conversation with Kelly's Swede, who, by the way, DOESN'T KNOW WHO THE REFUSED ARE. But it was nice getting to know Kelly's husband-to-be. What else? The night ended at 4am with me chauffeuring four boys around. But after visiting the gravity bong, duh.

I love love LOVE my wasted boy--friends.

Goodbye Internet Land

November 25, 2009

Thanks to Andrew Pisacane, I will no longer be updating this blog. Blame him. Send him hate mail. It's all his fault.

Edit: Just kidding.

Bodymore, Murderland

November 23, 2009

No. 13: Baltimore, Md.
Rankings in Crime
Assault: 15
Murder: 5
Rape: 278
Motor Vehicle Theft: 46
Robbery: 12
Burglary: 90

Click here to check out the Top 15 Most Dangerous Cities of 2009. Wasn't Baltimore number two for a bit?

There are also links to 25 Most Dangerous neighborhoods which Baltimore hits twice.

That's all that matters


Martha Graham

My reliance on coffee continues

I guess I passed out yester-evening because I woke up at 6:00p to ten boys walking into my apartment. The living room was pitch black and I think I scared a few of them when I moaned and groaned at the noises of boys and bikes. We all went out to sushi shortly after and it took a while for me wake up, but the stories about sex and jail and spitting did it.

I realized I didn't have coffee yesterday on my way to school this morning. I thought I'd treat myself Sunday morning and allow myself to sleep in 'til 11:30. I figured I didn't need any coffee since I slept for so long, but I figured wrong. I probably passed out around 3:30 and who knows how long I would've been asleep hadn't I been bombarded by men. I love/hate this addiction.

Let's not forget Patrick O'dell

I haven't posted many photos from him recently but don't forget to check Epicly Later'd once in a while. I have no affiliation with him other than the fact that I love lurking his life with skaters and his recent trippings to Mexico. And then some.

Dance Dance

I watched two minutes of this and I have come to the conclusion that I love it. It seems really late 80s if you take out the raver pants and ninja kicks. But then the guy with the flaming hair came out and I had to stop it before I decided I hated it.

By the way, have you people heard of "jerking"? It's like two-stepping.. but not. To me, it looks like duck-walking/voguing for the straights. Deer Matt can show you how to jerk.

After watching a dozen videos of guys voguing, I have decided that jerking and voguing are not similar at all. Voguing r00lz and jerking dr00lz.

"I shouldn't like it, but I love it."

Why is it that we are even more excited about our work when we get extremely positive feedback from our teachers? And less encouraged when it is not supported? Is it the notion of it being a success? He/she likes it therefore it is successful. And only when someone likes it is it successful.

I don't know, but I am on cloud nine because my crit went so extremely well. I think anyone would love to hear that you're teachers were in your studio talking about your work while you were not there. Phrases like, "seductive" and "not kitchy" and "not funny" and "graceful" and "traditional American painting" and "updated" and "UGLY" and "beautiful".

I am really self-conscious about my work because it's really personal, but I guess anyone and everyone can say that about their work. But it is to the point where I will not show it, which is something I am trying to overcome. I guess I am surprised when I hear positive words about my work because I am constantly second-guessing myself, which is something Ken told me not to do.

Gaia and I were talking about impulsiveness driven by infatuation. Obsession. Madness. It's weird because in life, impulse seems to lead to destruction. A classic example would be Romeo. His impulsiveness led to his tragedy and we all know how that story ended. I find my emotions reacting on impulse all the time. I mean, ask The Dude. I'll tell him that I hate him (which I do) and give him an outrageous moment because my emotions are reacting to a situation without thought, without a pause. But I feel that in my painting I rely on my impulse. When I stop and think too much, it slows my painting down and is, to me, less successful. I think this obsession with my painting leads to my impulsive decision which I am completely supportive of. The haphazardness is what I love.

Then why don't I love that in life? Haphazardness is always so dangerous.

Ken says I can't stop. I should keep moving forward. "It's beautiful and it's ugly. I shouldn't like it, but I love it."

I'm terrified.

New Gaia

November 22, 2009

This lovely boy is working on something new for Scope in Miami. Check out his Flickr for recent works he put up.

Forever amazing is Christopher Walken

It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood

November 21, 2009

The Dude and I went to Aloha for a late lunch/early dinner. This is the view from their tableside window, which we have never sat at for some reason. I just made snickerdoodles and they smell SO good! They're for Joe's birthday bash. Laser Tag!

ky00t doggy

Edit: I found more videos. Why are these so funny to me? I am literally laughing out loud.

And Whitney sent me Trampoline Dog which is also the ky00tiest.

My previous life

My life used to be so tender. Looking back at four or five or six years ago.. I feel like I cared more. I feel like I was quieter, softer.

The reason I feel this way is because I was thinking about a couple people that used to be a big part of my life. One is a drummer, one is a pastor/doctor/surfer. The relationship with these two men were nothing close to sexual, nothing close to "more than friends", nothing close to "hmm.. maybe". When I think about the relationship with them, I can feel my mind and body going back to a certain mode, a quieter sense of being.

I don't know, maybe there was something more.

Pastor/doctor/surfer. Talk about sex, about relationships, about friends. How appropriate it is to be lying in his bed in the middle of the night in New York City--Harlem to be specific--at 16? I shouldn't even be saying these things because I don't know who reads this, but I need to remember these things. So many emails have been lost. So many texts. So many letters. But I can still FEEL a time with him.

It's weird. I have/had these relationships with these men who were significantly older than me. We'd spend nights alone, conversations over coffee, drives to no where.. and yet even now, I don't see these moments as a "more than friends" moment. Maybe they did, but I never did and I still do not. And let's remember I am 15-16-17. They felt so natural, so fluid.

I think that's the way my relationships with men go. I am the girlfriend without everything else that comes with being the girlfriend. I'm the person to talk to, to hang out with, to love. That's how I am with Nick. That's how I am with RJ. That's how I am with Jake. I will love my men 'til the day I die the only way I know how--with all of my goddamn heart. So much that I don't see that our relationship being inappropriate when a girl comes into one of their lives. To the point where girls hate me or fear me or envy me or despise me. I will love this way forever.

But I don't know why my relationships with boys are this way. I don't know why and how I can be such a passionate girl-friend and not mix the girl-boy relationship into a fuddled mess. And I don't know why I love these boys in a different way than I love my girls. Perhaps there is some great Freudian explanation for why I am this way, but I could care less. Let's not mistake that I love my girls (the few girls that I love) with all of my heart, but I will never have to compete with their boyfriends. And it's not to say that a competition is in order with the potential/existing girlfriends of my men, but I want those girls to understand that I love their boyfriends like my brothers. More than that.

What's my point? I need to stop rambling. My relationship with the pastor/doctor/surfer and the drummer were friendships I will tell my grandchildren about (when they are older). Stories about love and quietness. Stories about deep friendships. Romantic friendships of love letters and kind thoughts. What I remember most about these relationships is the importance of words. I think the biggest part of my relationship with the pastor/doctor/surfer were letters and notes and messages and emails. Hundreds of emails across the country. And the drummer's poems. His stories. When I think about them I think about words like the words you're reading, more than I remember moments about hanging out.

I need to stop. I feel like I'm just going in circles.

And this goes without saying that my boyfriend, also, understands my relationships.

It's too early for this.

Keeping it old school

November 19, 2009

I remember eating these all the time when I was little and decided to take a walk down memory lane and make a batch myself. Although, I did tweak the traditional recipe a little by using whole what flour, chunky peanut butter and dark chocolate kisses.

I always forget that Chloe Sevigny exists in this world too/first

Chloe Sevigy and Alex Olson at the MOCA 30th anniversary party via The Cobra Snake.


Baby brother: Mail me my S&M DVD because I need to watch this whole concert now. Does anyone even listen to Metallica anymore? Like this?

Good morning to you too

I was greeted by a new piece from Gaia on my way to school this morning.

Photobooth in the mornings before school. Morning face!

I think I took these last week when it was really cold out. Turtlenecks are my jam and girlies need to get into the houndstooth. I was always shy about wearing my houndstooth jacket thing in high school because it seemed too bold/loud, but now I don't give a shit. Now my houndstooth collection is endless. And turtlenecks. Thank G for four seasons out here.

Remember when shemaghs were super in for ONE season maybe winter '06? I was just thinking about how some of the guys that come into the shop with their red skinny jeans and graphic t's love shemaghs. I don't think they're very pretty unless worn properly around your head accessorized with an AK-47. No really, I think they're beautiful around a head, just not loosely on one's neck. How did I get here? Oh yeah because I wanted to show you the only scarf that matters in the world. But I won't.

I look like a bitch in these photos but I swear I'm not. In high school, people always thought I was a bitch because of the way I held my face. Does that make sense? I guess I don't really walk around with a smile or with an approachable attitude. I remember senior year of high school, my friend Eunice revealed that she was scared of me most of high school because she thought I was scary/intimidating and I used to get that ALL the time. People are always shocked at how not-bitchy I am. HAHA How sad for me..

Jeez it's late and the Dude and I are arguing about broccoli. I'm pretending to type a lot.

Fancy a cup o' tea?

Thanks to Whitney!


A dear friend of mine sent over this link of a little photo montage of what goes on up in Humboldt. For those of you who don't know, Humboldt has one of the highest percentages of marijuana growers in the world. My friend spent a week up there and said the relationship between growers and law enforcement is.. chill? It's weird I guess. Anyways, if you want to know more about what goes on in Humboldt I'm sure you'll do some furthur googling. But for now, click here to see some photos of a day-in-the-life of a farmer. Hahaha.


November 18, 2009

Not the reefer kind.

$55 for boobie support. I think rolling up an old shirt will suffice.

Momma pt.2

November 17, 2009

I was talking to my mother the other day and expressing how exhausted I've been with all of my school work. I told her that all of the upcoming assignments/papers/final pieces are going to kill me. She then said that she has never heard of school killing anyone. Not once. Drugs, yes. Car accidents, yes. Alcohol, yes. People, yes. But she has never heard of school killing someone.

It was a really clarifying moment because amidst all of my struggle and stress and fatigue in these upcoming weeks, I am going to be fine. And I forgot that for a moment. I can't seem to see through the fog but I know I will get through it and reach the other side.

My mother has always had the "You'll be fine," attitude with me and sometimes I just want to be like, "NO I WON'T! I'M DYING. I'M HURTING." but I'm fine now. So in these moments of I'M DYING I'M HURTING, it's easy.. no. easier, for me to step back and say, no you're not.

"This, too, shall pass."


I think the most beautiful moment in conversation is the moment right before someone speaks. It's not the clarity of the topic or the revolutionized idea or the exchange of what-have-you, it's the half a second that the mouth opens but the words have yet to reveal themselves. Or are not ready to do so. The .5 seconds of silence--of preparation--of what is to be said is magical.

Hot chocolate, my way

November 16, 2009

I think a few people can agree and say that my hot chocolate might be the best hot chocolate Ever! It'll make you sweat. Though I don't put half a bag of marshmallows like someone does.


I'm really good at becoming great friends with my guy friends' girlfriends. It's not on purpose, but I think it's my way of making the girl feel more comfortable with me and the relationship I have with her boyfriend. Kiki is one of my best friend's now and it's for that reason (also because we just get along really freaking well). I've grown up with boys and my best best friends are boys, that's just the way it is. I know how over-protective girls can get so making them more comfortable with me (for my relationship with her boyfriend's sake), I really try and be friendly. And sometimes, it turns out to be a great friendship that lasts lonnngg after their relationship :)

P.S. I LOVE LOVE LOVE that Nick and RJ have been calling me once a week. It's a dream come true :)

Gmail Chat

has been lots of fun lately.

Oh Craig

Tri-lingual texts with my mother

Before these texts, I told her I was craving pho (vietnamese noodles) and she says that we (my dad, her, my bro) had it yesterday. Then I say in Koean, "I'm hungry!" then she says, "Poor little girl" in Spanish. This is the way my family talks on a regular basis.

P.S. My mom's name is Candy. Ask anyone.

Spotted: Three boys riding track bikes across the street

One of them on my bike.

Bunnies for sale at the flea market

Jean Paul Gaultier for kids

Jean Pual Gaultier

Dear Chloe

Your legs look amazing.

But I h8 what you're wearing.


November 15, 2009

How about a Pokemon menstrual pad

Sunday morning guilty pleasures

Sundays are meant for sleeping in, chocolate chip pancakes, movies/mid-afternoon television, and Leona Lewis. She's the type of beauty that I want to have, not the Victoria's Secret kind of beauty. The Dude and I are fans.

November 14, 2009

I'm so happy Usher's back. You have no idea.

-- Post From My iPhone

When color dances

November 13, 2009

New 30 Seconds to Mars video inspired by Los Angeles

Jared Leto can kiss my ass for thinking he and his music is the shit and assuming that I'd be forever grateful for gracing me with his sweet touchings, but nonetheless this video is beautiful. It's mostly inspired by LA's Midnight Ride which includes freaks on bikes and fixed kids doing tricks. Los Angeles is so beautiful, especially at night. Even looking over the city in all it's smoggy haziness, I can't believe that this is a place I get to frequent.

Down to a hilltop view over-looking the fires, downtown, the freaks, the youth, the bikes, the Santa Monica pier.. and then there's the random Banksy reference.. I can't help but miss home.

OD(D) homes

Spiderman, Spiderman

Hollywood Blvd characters are getting feisty. Read about it at

MOCA celebrates 30 years

There'a an article here and here from the LA Times about MOCA's huge 30th anniversary exhibition opening up this weekend. Equipped with Gaga performing with the Bolshoi Ballet, this is going to be MOCA's biggest exhibition, ever, pulling things from their private collection that has been selfishly hidden from our view (just kidding). But it's going to be amazing and I can't wait to see it.

Go to for more details and what is expected. So excited! And here is a complimentary admission especially from me :)

Henry Rollins like you've never seen him

November 12, 2009

More reasons why CA rules and being here does not

This happened last night in LA and I know Nick, Chris, Aric and hundreds of other people went for the ultimate eargasm. And this one is happening tonight in Pomona. It's not fair. Everything goes through Southern California. It's going to be in San Francisco tomorrow and I know RJ is going to jizz in his pants.

Not cool

Walking in the windy rain at 7am with coffee in one hand and an umbrella and your design boards in trash bags in the other is not cool.

Getting to school and seeing that the ONE door you have the code to is not working is also not cool.

Finally getting in. Very cool.

New Top Chef tonight

November 11, 2009

and I screamed with utter joy when my favorite chef in the world was the guest judge. The Dude just stared at me because I was crying tears of joy.

Blood orange sorbetto? Mm so good..!

I thought their mango sorbet was delicious. This is even better. Living next to OK Natural is not a good thing. But it is.

Clyfford Still

Sometimes, I don't have anything else to post but I can't stand the idea of the previous post being the first thing one looks at upon arrival to this place, so I immediately post something more appealing to my eye.