Since high school, I've had to deal with losing friends to girlfriends. It's something that I understand, but it's also something that I'm over. At this point in my/our lives, I think it's clear that my motives are pure. If you take a look at my list of friends that I love, most of them are boys--boys that I've never hooked up with and boys that I've never been romantic with. I think my oldest homies can vouch for how down I am and how I'm like a dude to them. When I meet new boys, I don't even consider them being romances. If I come across flirty or friendly, it's because my nature is flirty (which is a problem) and I'm definitely trying to be friends with you. I'm the friend that loves you unconditionally and you need to see the difference between philia love and eros love. It's my fault when the lines are blurred because I invite you to sleep in my bed, only because I am used to having my friends sleep over or me sleeping over there. If I want to have a romantic relationship with you, you will know, right away. No games. But honestly, I'd rather have you as a friend. Because lovers are expendable, friends are forever. Isn't that adulatory? The notion that I'd rather have you forever than for a moment? Unless you shake me to my core, I don't want that sort of love from you.
In the last 3.5 years, I've lost some of that philial devotion that I'm trying to get back. I know that sometimes the relationship I'm asking for is inappropriate but I think we are an evolved species to where we can act beyond our baser instincts. No competition, no envy, no anything. Just love. If I lose you to that sort of thoughtlessness, I will be crushed. Because it doesn't make sense to me.
It's about family. Agape.